Bright lights. Warmth. Muscles and limbs protesting the sudden return rush of feeling as the body slams into the deck. Hands, not his, fumbling at the release straps of the oxygen mask. Carter? The mask is pulled free. Air. The first breath is almost painful. His chest heaves as if his body is struggling to remember that it knows how to breathe. His eyes are tearing and he squints against the light. Daniel. He tries to sit up but the best he can manage is to prop himself up on one arm. His legs cramp painfully as he stretches them for the first time in… God, how many hours?

“Base. This is Digger 2. We’ve got them both aboard. They’re alive.”

O’Neill looks towards Carter and sees Jacob.

“Jack.”

“Jacob.”

“Need a lift home?” Jacob’s expression doesn’t match the glib words. He had been worried, Jack realized. Feeling too battered to dig in his brain for a similar response, Jack simply replied, “Yes, that would be nice,” and concentrated on continued breathing.

“Sir?” Carter moved past her father and stood a few feet from him. “Are you okay?” O’Neill nodded, but lowered his arm and rolled over to lie on his back, eyes closed.

“Teal’c…you o’kay?” he rasped.

“Indeed, O’Neill. I am, in fact, recovering rapidly. I did not suffer as you did as my symbiote sustained me during my time in kel-no-reem.” The jaffa stood up and crossed the floor to stand next to Carter and Jacob.

Daniel glanced up at the big man from his sitting position on the floor next to Jack. “Way to go, Junior!” he quipped. Jack managed a slight smile.

“Dad, he needs water.” Sam said.

“I’ll get them some,” he said and reached out to squeeze her shoulder. Jacob looked at his daughter for a moment before stepping away and walking out of the hold. Sam stood still, staring down at her CO. The silence seemed to stretch itself out to a breaking point. Daniel watched her as she stared at Jack. It was the first time in nearly two days that he could remember seeing her that still. Jack’s eyes were still closed. He hadn’t moved since he’d asked about Teal’c.

“Somebody say somethin’,” Jack croaked. “I don’t think I’m gonna die on ya’ now.” Sam jumped at the sound of his voice.

“Colonel,” Sam stepped closer and kneeled on the floor beside him. “I’m sorry…” Jack’s eyes opened and he reached out and grabbed her arm. His touch was icy cold.

“Carter. Don’t be stupid.” She closed her mouth tightly. She was afraid to say anything else. There was too much going on inside her head. The colonel’s grip on her arm was weak. She could feel him trembling slightly. He must have been so cold…

Daniel stared at her still. She was pale and tired looking. She’d pushed herself to the breaking point. She hadn’t allowed herself to think past solving the problem of their rescue. Dealing with the aftermath hadn’t been part of her equation.

“Sam,” Jacob’s voice rang out loudly in the silence that had descended on them again. He held two water bags in his hands. The incongruity of such simple things on a spaceship all of a sudden struck Daniel as incredibly funny but he didn’t comment on his observation. Jacob handed one to Teal’c and the other to Sam. Daniel reached out to help Jack sit upright. Sam handed him the water and watched as he took a careful sip.

“Jack, not too much too fast,” said Jacob. “Take it easy.”

Jack could feel the water as it slid down his throat. He drank slowly, knowing Jacob was right. He was uncomfortably aware of his condition. His head was still pounding. He wasn’t sure he’d ever remembered what not having a headache felt like. His cramped legs ached as some of the feeling began returning in tingling waves of pain.

“Digger 2, this is base. Great job! Bring them home!” Hammond’s voice came through with a chorus of cheers and clapping in the background.

Jacob smiled. “I’ll go tell them we won’t be making the return trip quite as quickly as we came out. Jack, I can’t offer much in the way of luxurious accommodations, but I’m betting they’re better than a jury-rigged death glider has to offer.”

“Just tell me you have aspirin,” Jack said. “I have a headache that’s… well… bigger than anything any ad exec ever dreamed of.”

“Uh, Jack,” Daniel said, pushing his glasses up higher on his nose. “We, uh, kinda left in a hurry.”

“No aspirin?”

“No aspirin.”

“Teal’c?”

“Yes, O’Neill?”

“Just zat me and put me out of my misery for awhile, would ya’?”

“I do not believe that would improve your condition, O’Neill.”

“Ya’ think?” Jack replied, without his usual zing. He took another sip of water and considered the throbbing in his head. Jacob closed his eyes and inclined his head slightly.

“Colonel O’Neill. Perhaps a shower and a change of clothes would help. When you are ready, we can offer something to eat. We have on board some emergency medical supplies as well. I am sure Jacob can find you something to ease your pain,” said Selmak.

“Thank you, Selmak. That would be great,” Jack answered. I’ll never get used to that he thought.

“Daniel. Why don’t you give Jack a hand? There is a set of clothes in my quarters. They’ll have to do for now,” Jacob said. “Teal’c, I’m afraid I don’t have any jaffa-sized extras on board.”

“I am fine Jacob Carter.”

“Sam, after I’ve sent a message back to George I’ll need your help to check over the ship’s systems. We pushed these engines hard and I don’t really want to drop in on any Goa’uld mother ships without an invitation again. I really doubt they ran away in fear from the great and powerful Oz.”

“Ok, Dad.”

“Oz?” Jack queried.

“Uh, never mind that Jack,” Daniel cut in quickly. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.” Daniel stood reached down to catch Jack under his arm. Sam did the same on his other side and together they helped O’Neill to stand.

“Teal’c, are you sure a zat blast isn’t a good idea?” he groaned as he stood unsteadily.

“Sir?”

“Carter, go help your dad. Unless you want to help a rank, smelly, old colonel take a shower.” He couldn’t help himself. He glanced over at her to see her reaction and was rewarded with a small smile.

“Feeling better already aren’t you, sir?”

“Ya. Sure. You betcha.”

Sam stepped away from him and pretended to ignore the fact that the only thing holding him upright was Daniel. She looked at Daniel and he nodded slightly. She didn’t say anything but knew Daniel understood anyway. Sam looked at O’Neill one more time before turning and walking toward the corridor.

“He will recover, Major Carter.” Teal’c spoke softly. Sam’s throat tightened as she glanced back to watch Jack struggle to stand on his own.

“Hey, Carter,” called Jack. “Thanks.”

She simply nodded left the hold slowly. Teal’c watched her go and then moved to assist Jackson with O’Neill. As he took O’Neill’s arm, the colonel tried to push his two would-be nurses away and step away from them. His still half-numbed legs betrayed him and he would have gone down in heap if Teal’c hadn’t hauled him upright again.

“Jack, don’t be an ass,” admonished Daniel as he slipped a shoulder under Jack’s right arm again. Jack had no comment this time and together the three of them slowly headed for the ship’s sparse living quarters. It seemed to be an eternity before they made it to Jacob’s small cabin but by the time they reached it Jack was able to feel his feet again. At least I’ll be spared the indignity of having them hold me up in the shower he thought wryly. He managed, almost, to strip his flight suit off without assistance.

“What do you want to do with these?” asked Daniel as he dropped the clothing on the floor.

“Toss them out the closest airlock. I don’t care if I have to wear a Tok’ra kilt. Those things,” he said, as he made an attempt to kick at the pile on the floor, “are not going back on my body.”

“I have never observed Jacob Carter in a kilt,” proclaimed Teal’c. “I do not believe you will be forced to wear one.”

“Nope,” said Jackson as he rummaged through a bag and pulled out an outfit exactly like the one Jacob always seemed to wear. “Tunic and trousers it is.”

“Great,” said Jack as he stepped carefully into the shower unit and thumbed the control that activated it. He set the controls so the water was as hot as it could get and wondered if he would ever feel warm again.

* * * * *

Jacob turned from the control panel as his daughter entered. “I’ve explained our situation to General Hammond already. I told him I think it’s best if we maintain radio silence. Those two mother ships might be curious enough about our identity to check for any stray transmissions.” Sam stepped up beside him and stared at the view screen without replying. Jacob turned to face her. “Did Daniel get Jack settled in?”

Sam nodded. “He told me to come help you…” her voice trailed off and she dropped her head to stare at her feet. She wrapped her arms around herself and shrugged. “He could barely stand,” she whispered.

“Jack’s tough. He’s been through worse.”

“I know,” she said quietly. “But we almost lost him this time. If we’d been any later…”

Jacob heard the catch in her voice and reacted as a father. He reached out and pulled her to him in a close embrace. She tensed at first and then leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder.

“He’s alive. Teal’c, too. They have you to thank for that. Don’t think about what might have happened. Every time you go on a mission you take a risk. It’s part of the job. Don’t you think Jack feels responsible for everything that happens to his team?” Sam was silent. Jacob wondered when the last time his daughter had cried was. She had always needed to put up a good front for those around her. He thought of his own guilt then. If he’d been a more loving father…

“You should not be so harsh with yourself, Jacob. Your daughter loves you very much,” Selmak’s internal voice snapped forcefully through his thoughts.

“She’s been through so much lately,” he sent to Selmak. “I don’t know how to help her.”

“Just be your self,” came the reply. He tightened his arms around Sam and sighed. He wondered to himself how he was supposed to do that with Selmak around. He sensed Selmak’s amusement and mentally shrugged.

“Just how long have you had to come up with these bits of sage advice?” Selmak didn’t answer.

“Sam, we made it in time. Jack will be fine and Teal’c seems like he just went on a stroll through a park. Why are you so down?”

She wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell him about the past few months and have him tell her how to fix everything. Freya and her damned superhero armbands. The za’tark crisis. The colonel admitting the real reason he wouldn’t leave her behind when the blasted thing fell off leaving her stranded behind a force field. Her own admission of what she felt for him. Martouf’s death. The realization that Jonah and Thera never really existed as their real identities began to return. She wanted to tell him but the words wouldn’t come and the moment that it might have happened in slipped past as he released her from his embrace and stepped back.

“Let’s go see what kind of engines we have left,” she said instead. Jacob regarded her for a moment and she wondered if he’d press the issue.

“Sam,” he said.

“Dad,” she said quickly, “I don’t think Daniel wants to play at being Oz again.” She sidestepped around him and keyed the controls on the panel for a diagnostic. Jacob just watched her for a moment as she threw up her emotional walls again and began working the panel. He moved to stand at her side and began running system checks. Neither of them spoke.

* * * * *

Jack tugged at the tunic he wore and shook his head. Who the heck designs these things he wondered to himself. Daniel had taken his own offensive clothes away a few minutes ago after deciding that Jack wasn’t about to collapse again. Teal’c, while having nothing clean to put on had opted for a shower after all. Probably to rinse my stink off, thought Jack. Two days in a death glider with no facilities hadn’t been covered in special ops training, he mused. Having Junior sure had some advantages, he admitted to himself.

He stretched slowly. He almost felt warm again and the ache in his legs was only a shadow of what it had been. His head, however, still felt like someone was taking a jackhammer to it. He sat on the edge of the bunk. The light seemed too bright. He wondered if this was what someone suffering migraines experienced. He lay back on the bunk and threw an arm over his eyes to block the light. His stomach joined in with the rest of his body’s parts and betrayed him with a low rumble. Selmak had mentioned food and his belly wasn’t going to let him forget it. He heard the sound of the shower shutting down and Teal’c emerging. Teal’c didn’t speak as he dressed and Jack wondered if he thought he was sleeping.

“Makes a new man out of you, don’t it?”

“Indeed, O’Neill. I am much refreshed.” Jack lowered his arm and watched as Teal’c slipped his boots back on. Jack remembered the first time the big jaffa had heard that expression and Daniel’s resulting attempt to explain it to him. He sat up slowly. Damn this headache, he thought as the throbbing continued unabated. Daniel walked back in as he stood up.

“What’dja do with my clothes?”

Daniel flushed at Jack’s question.

“I, uh,”

“Well? You, uh, what?”

“I, uh, incinerated them.”

“You burned them?” Jack watched Daniel’s face get even redder.

“Well, yeah! You told me to put them out an airlock, remember?”

“I know I did, I just kind of hoped Jacob might have a washing machine stashed around here somewhere so I wouldn’t be stuck in these things.”

“I don’t think washing machines are standard equipment on Tok’ra scout ships, Jack..”

“Yeah, well, they should be.” His stomach chose that moment to growl again. Daniel looked over the rims of his glasses at him and Teal’c’s eyebrow lifted.

“Are you ready to eat, O’Neill?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” he told Teal’c calmly. “Considering we haven’t eaten anything since breakfast two days ago!”

“How’s your headache?” asked Daniel as he led the way into the corridor.

“Don’t ask.”

They walked to the control room and found Jacob and Sam running the diagnostics one final time. Carter turned and looked at Jack standing in the doorway.

“See, Sam,” said Jacob. “I told you he’d be fine.”

Sam gave her father a look that Jack recognized. She was annoyed with him for some reason.

“Sir, how are you feeling?”

Jack repressed an urge to make a joke. He didn’t think Carter was in the mood for his sense of humor at the moment.

“Headache,” he told her. “Sure could use something to eat. Other than that, fairly well, all things considered.”

“Hunger, I know we can fix,” said Jacob as he stepped away from the panel. “The headache too, most likely. Although, I’m not sure you’re going to like the cure.” He grinned at Jack as he walked towards him. “I like the new look,” he said laughingly as he nodded at the borrowed clothes Jack was wearing. “We’ve updated Hammond. It’ll take us about three days to get you back to Earth. Sam and I don’t want to push the engines too hard. We don’t need another run in with the Goa’uld on this trip.”

“What Goa’uld?” Jack’s voice lost all traces of humor. “Carter?”

“Now, Jack. I outrank you, remember. You don’t get to be in charge for awhile. We’ll fill you in later. We’re not in any immediate danger at the moment.” Jacob pushed past him and headed up the corridor.

“Jacob!”

“Jack. I’m not going to argue with you,” Jacob called back over his shoulder as he walked away. “You are off duty until further notice.” Jack looked at Sam and then at Teal’c and Daniel. When none of them said a word, he shrugged and headed after Jacob. His stomach growled again and he heard Daniel laugh softly. The rest of his team followed behind him.

Jacob led them to the ship’s mess, or at least what passed for one on a Tok’ra scout ship. For a wonder, there were actually a couple of tables complete with chairs in the room. He sat at one, folded his arms on the table and rested his head. Despite his hunger, his eyes kept trying to close. Oxygen deprived sleep just wasn’t very restful, he guessed. Sam sat in the chair next to him. Daniel and Teal’c were at the other table and Jacob moved around quickly preparing something that looked a lot like oatmeal. At least it’s not Fruitloops, he thought wildly. This is not a day I’d want to relive. He realized Daniel was talking to Teal’c quietly explaining how Freya had given him the hint that Jacob was the operative closest to Earth and how Sam had determined which planet he had to be on. Sam was unusually quiet. She just sat and watched…him. He realized she was watching him.

“Carter?”

“Sir?”

“Are you ok?” He realized that sounded stupid, but suddenly he was worried about her.

“Yes, sir.”

Jack wasn’t convinced. She wasn’t her usual self. Even considering the situation, Carter wasn’t acting normally. He sat up, trying to ignore the pounding in his head. She looked almost as bad as he did he realized. She probably hasn’t slept at all. Once again, she’d pushed herself too hard to save his butt. At least this time I remembered to say thank you, he told himself. He wanted to believe she was just tired but he couldn’t quite convince himself that there wasn’t more going on. He remembered hearing her voice in the cockpit of the X-301 and thinking it was a dream. He remembered some of the conversations he’d had with himself after Teal’c put himself into kel’no-reem. Towards the end, he’d imagined talking to her- at least he hoped those conversations were all imagined. In his oxygen deprived state he’d imagined telling her a lot of things. Things he knew she wanted to leave in an underground room at the base. Things not even a mind-stamp had completely erased.

“Sam,” he said softly. It startled her, he could tell. He never called her anything but Carter or Major. It crossed their unspoken line. “I…”

“Chow time, Jack.” Sam looked relieved as her dad interrupted whatever the colonel was about to say. Her dad put a bowl of something down in front of Jack. “It’s better than it looks,” he told him with a smile. “I figured you’d do best with something that wouldn’t shock your system too much. And I figured I’d fix enough for all of us.” He gave Teal’c and Daniel their meals and sat across from Sam as he pushed another bowl across the table to her.

Jack took a taste of the stuff in front of him. Not oatmeal at all, he decided. But not too bad. Better than that runny gruel stuff they’d fed them all as workers on the ice planet. He ate, but tried not to eat too quickly. Jacob let him have a second helping before cutting him off.

“Jack, enough. You’ll be sick.”

“Yeah, I guess I’d hate to ruin another set of clothes. We’re out of spares.” He pushed the bowl toward the center of the table and looked at Jacob. “Selmak said something about maybe having the Tok’ra version of aspirin?”

“Your head still hurts, Jack?” Daniel asked from his side of the room.

“Yes, Daniel. My head still hurts.”

“It’s not exactly aspirin, Jack, but it should do the trick.” He stood up and moved to the storage spaces in the wall. He keyed one of the units open and removed a small packet. In a few moments, he’d mixed the contents of the packet with a liquid from another storage unit. He handed the cup to Jack. “Drink up,” he ordered.

Jack sniffed and made a face. “What is that?”

“It’ll cure what ails you,” Jacob grinned. Jack looked skeptical but the pain in his head wasn’t giving him any real choice. He took a big gulp and watched as Jacob laughed. “All of it, Jack.”

“Are you sure you’re not trying to poison me? This stuff is vile.” He took a breath and downed the last of the cup’s contents. “Doesn’t Teal’c have to take his medicine, too?”

“I do not have a headache, O’Neill.”

“It figures,” said Jack. “Junior strikes again. My head still hurts,” he observed. Jacob laughed again.

“It’s not a magic potion, Jack. Give it time to work.”

“Fine,” he answered. “Fill me in on these Goa’uld you mentioned.” He settled back in the chair as Jacob began giving him the details of the rescue operation. Carter never said a word. Jack kept glancing at her but she simply let Daniel and Jacob relate the day’s events. Daniel looked sheepish as he explained his attempt to bluff the Goa’uld. Jack yawned loudly.

“Am I boring you, Jack?” Daniel looked at Jacob.

“No, Daniel. Jack’s just going nighty night for awhile.”

“What do you mean, Jacob?” Jack yawned again and realized the light didn’t seem to be as bright as it had been.

“I mean you’re going to be asleep for awhile, Jack. What I gave you was a pretty powerful sedative.”

“Jacob, don’t tell me there’s two Goa’uld mother ships lurking about and then give me a knockout drug!”

“Technically speaking, Jack. I gave you the sedative first. Don’t argue. You need to sleep. It was either this or knock you on the head with a heavy object. Sam, help me get him to my quarters. Once this stuff kicks in, its works pretty quickly.”

“You should’ve brought aspirin, Carter.”

“Sir, I’ll try to remember that next time,” she said as she guided him to his feet and towards the door.

“I hope there isn’t a next time, Carter.”

“Me too, sir.”

They led him back to Jacob’s bunk where he stretched out for a second time. It felt a lot more comfortable this time, he thought sleepily as Jacob pulled the boots of his feet.

“Thanks, Dad,” he mumbled. “Aren’t you going to tuck me in?”

“Go to sleep, Jack.” Jacob touched a panel and the lights dimmed.

“Now why couldn’t someone have done that sooner?” Jack opened his eyes again to watch Carter unfold a blanket and spread it over him. She started to move towards the doorway but he reached out and grabbed her arm. “Sam.”

“Sir, you need to rest. When you wake up, your headache should be gone.”

“Not yet,” he told her. “Something’s wrong. Tell me.”

“Colonel, you really need to sleep. Nothing is wrong.”

“Sam. Stay and talk with him. You wouldn’t talk to me. Maybe he’ll have better luck than I did.” Her father didn’t sound upset. He sounded very calm. He looked Jack in the eye and nodded. Then, he turned and left the room. The soft snick of the door sliding closed seemed as loud as a gunshot. Sam just stared at the closed door. Jack’s grip on her arm was light, but insistent. She turned and looked at him. Dad, you don’t know what you’ve done, she thought helplessly. I can’t deal with this. Jack was the first to speak.

“Carter,” he said, afraid he’d spook her if he called her Sam again. “You look like hell.”

“Thanks a lot, sir,” she tried to say casually, but it sounded hollow.

“You haven’t slept, have you?”

“No, none of us have.”

“Maybe you should have taken some Tok’ra knock out juice, too.”

“I guess,” she answered. At least then I most likely wouldn’t be having this conversation with you, she thought.

“Sit.”

“No, sir… I should leave and let you…”

“Sit down, Carter.” He still hadn’t let go of her arm. She stared at him. “Please, Sam, sit down.” It didn’t sound like an order. He really was asking, not telling. She sat on the edge of the bunk. He scooted over slightly to give her more space. Sam, she thought. It had to be a record. How many times had he ever used her first name anyway? She wondered if he could tell how much it affected her.

“Jack.” She was perversely pleased. What’s good for the goose, she thought idly. His eyes had widened and his grip on her arm had tightened when she spoke.

“Sam,” he said again, liking the sound of it. “I knew you’d come for me. Even if you’d been too late, I knew you’d come.” He sounds so certain, she thought. “I imagined what you would find when you got to us. Two popsicles in space.” She closed her eyes. Why did he have be so…Jack? The image wouldn’t go away. It was one she’d imagined too many times over the past 48 hours.

“I couldn’t stand the thought of not trying.” She remembered Hammond giving her and Daniel the go ahead to gate out to the Goa’uld controlled planet to find her father. He didn’t think we’d make it, she realized. But he’d let her try anyway.

“Just like I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving you behind that force field.” There. He had said it. They both knew that he’d just broken their agreement. Keep it in the room, they’d said. No chance. His words seemed to hang in the air between them. She wanted to protest, to pretend it hadn’t happened but wasn’t able to do so.

“What do we do now?”

“I think I sleep,” he told her. “I sure hope Jacob doesn’t share that stuff with Doc Frasier.”

“It sure would make you a better patient in the infirmary,” she remarked. She tried to stand, but Jack stopped her again.

“Stay.”

“Jack, don’t…”

“Sam, remember when we were workers on the ice planet.” Another stupid question he realized. Sam nodded and then realized his eyes were closed.

“Yes,” she said quietly.

“The night Jonas told you he remembered feelings?”

“Yes,” she said again. Jack had been so much more relaxed as Jonas, she thought. None of the worries associated with being a commanding officer, she supposed.

“We waited for Daniel to meet with us and he never showed. You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder.”

“I remember.”

“Well, if I didn’t try to ravish you when I couldn’t remember our ranks, why are you so worried now?” That wasn’t what she’d expected, she realized. She laughed and he opened his eyes again to look at her.

“Stay,” he said again. She sat there for a moment before finally nodding. He didn’t grin or make a joke, he simply let go of her arm and pulled aside the blanket. She lay down next to him and he let the blanket cover both of them. He shifted until her head lay on his shoulder and he held her in the crook of his arm. She could feel his heartbeat under the hand that rested on his chest and feel the rise and fall as he breathed. “Go to sleep, Carter, that’s an order,” he barely had the words out before his eyes were closed again. Finally, he slept. Sam lay there, listening to the rhythm of his breathing and closed her eyes. Her final thought before she, too, drifted off to sleep, was of what her dad would make of this.