Colonel Jack O’Neill gave a final tug to his tie and sighed. He glanced at his watch. Almost time, he thought, wishing the whole thing was over already. I don’t know what all the fuss is about anyway.

A sharp rap at his door demanded his attention.

“Yeah,” he called out. “It’s open.” He turned toward the door and was met with the sight of his 2IC grinning from ear to ear, dress blues crisp with perfection.

“Colonel, are you ready?”

“If I say no can I be excused to go fishing?” Carter laughed and shook her head.

“No, Sir. I don’t think the visiting brass would like that too much. They’re waiting.”

“They’re waiting? I’ve got…” he looked at his watch again, “oh… at least nine minutes and um… 52 seconds left.”

“The General sent me to make sure you weren’t late.”

“I’m never late, Carter. Only delayed.”

“Well, late or delayed… General Hammond won’t be too happy with either.”

“No?” He asked, tilting his head and lifting his eyebrows.

“No.”

“Fine,” he conceded with another long sigh. “Let’s go then.”

“Uh, Sir?”

“What?”

“Your hair?” She asked, pointing.

“Huh? Oh…” He reached for his brush on the table and ineffectively swiped a few passes through the unruly thatch of gray. “Better?”

Carter laughed and shook her head.

“Not really, Sir.”

“Knew I should’ve put a mirror up in here,” O’Neill said exasperatedly.

“Here, Sir. Let me help.”

Carter stepped closer to her commanding officer and took the brush from his hand. “Bend your head, Colonel,” she ordered.

“What are you, my mother?” he asked as she proceeded to smooth the silvered locks.

“No sass from you now… or I’ll thump you a good one with this brush.”

“That’s ‘with this brush, Sir’ and you shouldn’t forget that, Major.”

“You’re asking for a good whack upside the head… Sir.”

She took a step back and gave him an appraising look from head to toe.

“Do I pass muster?”

“You’ll do,” she told him, tossing the brush down on the table.

O’Neill glanced at his watch again.

“Eight minutes and 35 seconds, Carter. Are you sure they’re waiting?”

“Yes, Colonel. I’m sure.”

“After you, Major,” he said, extending a hand toward the door.

Carter smiled at him again and exited the room, heels clicking loudly on the concrete floor. The colonel frowned one last time and shook his head.

“I’d rather be fishing,” he mumbled to himself as he followed, pulling the door closed behind him.

* * * * *

I knew it was too early to come down here, O’Neill thought in annoyance. They’ve kept me out here cooling my heels for longer than whole damn ceremony is supposed to be!

Carter had left him in the corridor outside the gateroom with a reminder that she’d be the one to pay the price if he wasn’t there when the door opened again.

So he waited. Having finally accepted the inevitable. There was no escape this time.

Unless the Asgard…

His face brightened at the thought.

Oh yeah, I could use a little intergalactic crisis at the moment. Come on, guys, he pleaded, lifting his head to stare towards the ceiling, there must be something going on somewhere in the universe that requires a hand from your old buddy O’Neill!

The gateroom doors slid open slowly.

O’Neill quickly straightened, coming to attention and trying to ignore the sudden pounding of his heart. You’d think with everything I’ve been through a little pomp wouldn’t affect me. In truth, he hated being the center of attention.
He strode forward with careful measured steps until he reached the center of the red carpet that led up the ramp to the gate. Executing a sharp right turn he faced the gate. The General, his team, and a few other high ranking Air Force officials awaited him at the top of the ramp.

The room was packed with SGC personnel. They seemed to occupy every available space of flooring on either side of the red carpet.

He saluted and held the position as it was returned. He fought back a grin as even Daniel and Teal’c executed precise salutes.

As if on cue, everyone else in the room saluted in unison.

He swallowed suddenly, at an unexpected rush of emotion. Damn ceremonies, he thought to himself, although with perhaps less vehemence than he’d felt a few moments earlier.

Colonel O’Neill slowly lowered his hand and the others did the same.

He waited a second longer and then stepped forward, keeping his eyes focused on the General and the podium ahead of him. General Hammond nodded as O’Neill took his place next to his team. The General stepped up to the podium.

“It is my pleasure and honor to be here today, to recognize the efforts of a man without whom the SGC, and even the Earth, would have suffered greatly. Not many men could have gone through what this man has endured and lived to tell the tale. Well, not only has Colonel Jack O’Neill lived to tell the tales, he continues to serve with honor and dignity.

We are here today because we wish to recognize a milestone in his distinguished career. Due to the sensitive nature of our work here at the SGC, it is unfortunate that this recognition can only be shared within the confines of these walls. It is my hope that someday, Colonel O’Neill’s accomplishments will be celebrated worldwide for he is among our first and foremost lines of defense – as much as the iris behind me that protects our Stargate.

Colonel O’Neill serves with unwavering dedication. Always willing to go above and beyond the call of duty. It is this dedication that we celebrate today. Colonel O’Neill, would you step forward please?”

O’Neill took two steps forward until he was standing in front of the General.
“For meritorious conduct and unflagging dedication to our mission at the SGC, this award has been commissioned for Colonel Jack O’Neill.” General Hammond held up the golden medal, strung from a metallic blue ribbon which matched perfectly the color of an active wormhole. O’Neill kept his eyes straight ahead, resisting the urge to try to make out the details of the medal itself.

“Colonel, for surviving 100 Fic of the Week missions and meritorious conduct above and beyond the call of duty, please accept this award on behalf of a grateful fandom.”

O’Neill lowered his head slightly and General Hammond carefully draped the ribbon around his neck. He raised his head again to find the General saluting him. This time, O’Neill smiled as he returned the salute.

Hammond lowered his hand and clapped him on the shoulder.

“Good job, Son,” he said softly, a smile on his face.

“Thank you, Sir,” O’Neill replied in what he hoped was a steady voice. A moment later his team was all around him, smiling and offering congratulations.

“Cake and uh… other refreshments will be served in the mess,” Hammond announced. “After you, Colonel.”

* * * * *

O’Neill sat with his team at one of the tables in a corner of the mess, a half-eaten slice of cake on a plate and a glass of punch that had some extra punch to it in front of him. Hammond knew how to let his people enjoy a rare moment of celebration.

“See Jack,” said Daniel cheerfully. “All that complaining you do about that Badgergater and you’ve gone and gotten yourself another commendation because of her.”

“Indeed. It is well deserved, O’Neill,” rumbled Teal’c. “Although perhaps you could explain the significance of the design to me. I have never observed O’Neill use a computer during our missions.”

“Teal’c, it’s a computer because that’s how Badgergater posts her Fic of the Week to the Jackfic list. It’s an internet group.”

“I see.”

“Don’t mention them, Carter. Please!”

“The Jackficers?”

“Ahh! Carter! I said…”

“You know, Jack, in German that’s almost…”

“NEVER MIND what it almost is, Daniel!”

“Look, it’s bad enough that this Badger person feels compelled to dream up countless ways to torture me but those… those… women!”

“What about women, Sir?” Carter asked, an edge in her voice.

“Not you, Carter!” O’Neill said defensively. “You know what I mean! They bully her into doing it on a weekly basis!”

“O’Neill, it is my understanding that they do not bully, they encourage,” Teal’c said.

“There’s a difference?” O’Neill queried, his voice rising slightly.

“Oh yeah, Jack. In fact…”

“Daniel… don’t. I don’t want to know.”

“Sir, I believe Badgergater was writing weekly fics before Jackfic even existed.”

“Carter, do you really think she would have kept it up all this time if they hadn’t… encouraged her?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Sir. Perhaps. You know she’s not the only one out there writing.”

“Don’t remind me!” He said wearily. “How many of them have been inspired to try for themselves after reading Badger’s fics?”

“Quite a few, I’d imagine, Sir.”

“It’s not that bad, Jack. At least she puts you back together when she’s through with you.”

“Oh yeah, only after unimaginable angst, suffering, and immense physical pain!”

“Is it not, in fact, imaginable? It is written, so therefore Badgergater had to have imagined it.”

“Teal’c…”

“It’s not all whumping, Colonel. Remember when your brother came to talk to you?”

“I suppose,” O’Neill said. “But the whumping fics outnumber the non-whumping fics!”

“Yeah,” Daniel agreed. “Boy, some of them were doozies, too!”

“I just think you should be fair. Sometimes the fics are just nice little moments that reveal the real you.” Carter laughed and O’Neill glared at her.
“What are you saying, Major?”

“You mean they reveal the inner Jack, the one he never wants to share with anyone, right Sam?”

“Not exactly,” Carter said, bursting into a giggling fit.

“Are you referring to the shower scene in the fic Clean?”

“TEAL’C!” Jack yelled, standing up suddenly. The room fell silent and Jack looked around at the many pairs of eyes that were suddenly trained on him. “Sorry… sorry,” he said, sitting slowly back down, while wishing once again for Asgardian intervention.

“Well, Jack, you should be honored. Those ladies really appreciate that sort of thing, or so I’m told,” he said, grinning at Sam.

“Yes, they do. In fact, they spend a lot of time discussing your uh… various… qualities. By the way, Sir…” Carter said, another huge grin on her face, “why on Earth did you ever have reason to own a sombrero?”

O’Neill could feel his face flushing and he gaped at Carter, Daniel and Teal’c like a fish out of water.

“You saw it?”

Carter nodded and O’Neill closed his eyes and grimaced.

“Saw what?” Daniel asked.

“It’s classified,” O’Neill said quickly. “It was one of my undercover missions during my special forces days.”

“Not that undercover...” Carter giggled. “Sir…” she added after catching a glimpse of her CO’s expression.

“I can hurt you, Carter. Remember that.”

“Yes, Sir,” she said, still laughing.

“I do not believe you would injure Major Carter, O’Neill.”

“I’m thinking about it, Teal’c, believe me!”

“Sir, it’s all in good fun. Don’t be upset.”

“Hah! You just let Badgergater get in her head to devote one of those fics to you, Carter, and then we’ll see if you think it’s all just some harmless fun.”

“Well, lucky for me, Sir, it’s you they seem to adore.”

“Ya’ think?”

“Cheer up, Jack. Badger promised the Jackficers a sequel to Fly Boy Soup next week. I’m sure you’re scheduled for a nice bit of comforting. You certainly earned a break after that mission to P4B-397.”

“Don’t remind me, Daniel,” O’Neill said, resting his elbow on the table and his chin in his hand. “Damn bugs.”

“Arachnids, Jack.”

“Whatever,” O’Neill responded dejectedly. “I told you already… they’re bug-ish and that’s good enough for me.”

“O’Neill, I am sure Badgergater will not inflict permanent damage upon you.”

“No, Teal’c, I’m sure she wouldn’t. If she did, she wouldn’t have Jack O’Neill to kick around anymore, now would she?”

“Right, Jack. See… there’s always a bright side!”

“There is?”

“Daniel’s right, Colonel. At least the Badgergater’s intentions are clear.”

“Yeah, Jack,” Daniel agreed. “I believe the phrase is ‘For entertainment purposes only.’”