God I’m hot.

Well, I guess it’s better than freezing my ass off in that hole during my last visit up here but still… the accommodations are nothing to write home about.

Everywhere I go bunks are always alike.

Same flat mattress.

Same hot itchy blanket.

And knowing this could be the last place I’ll ever sleep doesn’t help much.

Doc ordered us all to get some rest but that’s tough to do when every bone, muscle, and joint in my body aches. Hell, it makes me long for the days when my knee was the only body part screaming for attention. My head feels pressurized- set to explode.

Damn this fever. The chills are back. I don’t know which is worse- the sweats or the shakes. I do know that this sure as hell isn’t the way I want to go out, but it seems like someone out there has a thing for nasty alien viruses. I’ve run into more of them than I care to remember and this one may just be the last- unless ice girl can somehow help us.

She helped the others. Man, I still can’t believe she healed Woods just by touching him. I thought only the Nox did stuff like that. Then again the Nox have been around a long time. And if ice girl is old as they think…

Even 50 million year old aliens have to answer to biology at some point. She’s using up her white blood cells to fight off this thing too. And we have no way of knowing how long she’s been sick. Of course, if you add the time that she was frozen… it’s not that surprising that the girl needs some rest.

Damn, now I’m hot again. I feel like I’m being smothered; my chest hurts when I breathe. I’d toss this itchy wool blanket off if moving wasn’t such an effort. Never thought I’d be complaining about being hot in Antarctica.

Jonas is moving around; the metal frame of his bunk creaks and squeaks as he shifts his position again. I wonder if he’s getting this hot and cold thing too. His breathing sounds worse, raspy and labored. At least the kid is getting some sleep. He needs his rest too.

The guy’s been going non-stop since the girl first woke up. I gotta hand it to him though. He’s had to put up with a lot of shit- from me more than the others. But he just keeps going and holds nothing against us. He just wants to do what’s right. In this case, that’s being a friend to a scared girl who is probably older than this planet. Daniel would be proud of him.

I’d love to sleep; it would help pass the time, but it’s impossible. I can’t get comfortable- first hot then cold.

I wonder if Carter and Doc are having the same problem. Of course, they were most likely so exhausted that they went straight to sleep. They’ve been working so hard to try and solve this- to find some way to cure us all. I’ve seen the strain they are feeling. I think they are afraid they will fail and that’s a heavy burden to carry.

I know that from personal experience.

I wish I could help them but I don’t know anything about this stuff. Even my ability to ‘see things at their simplest,’ as Carter so politely phrased it, isn’t going to be any help this time. My team is in trouble; we’ve dragged Fraiser into it with us this time and while the other three scientists may not be part of my team- they’re still my responsibility.

The door is opening. I can hear a low swoosh as the door sweeps over the tile followed by the soft footfalls of sock covered feet coming slowly closer. The faint light from the open doorway casts shadows on the wall. The foot steps come closer until they finally stop at my bedside. I want to turn my head; I want to see who is standing over me, but wanting and doing are two different things. All my strength is gone and even that small movement seems to be beyond me now.

I’m so tired.

Slowly this person kneels next to me her face becoming clearer the closer she gets. It's the Ice girl. God I wish I could member the name she was given.

She's weak I can tell even in the faint light. She's trembling with fatigue and fear. I can see it in her. She's afraid of failure also.

Jonas said she understands that she is responsible for this. I think she's afraid she won’t be able to heal us before succumbing to it herself.

She's raising her arms- just like she did to Woods, placing one hand on my chest and one on my head.

"No," I manage to croak out. She has to save the others first. "Other's first."

She looks at me for a second, her arms still in their position. Her cold hand is a welcome relief to my overheated body.

"Please heal the others first," I plead with her one more time- praying that she understands me.

Barely, she nods her head. With her limbs shaking, she walks over to Jonas' bunk. Ignoring the pain the movement causes me, I manage to turn my head to watching her silhouetted form as she raises trembling arms, placing her hands on his forehead and chest. I watch as she bends her head in concentration. It seems forever but it’s only moments before she holds her head up again; Jonas is cured.

Time slows as she turns away from the bunk, taking a step with quivering legs before they buckle beneath her. Landing on her knees, she looks at me. I can't make out her face all the way. The light's not bright enough.

"Sor-re…" she mumbles before collapsing, her body hitting the floor with a light thud.

I let my head fall back to a more comfortable position. Jonas is waking up. That's good. At least she was able to heal him before it was too late. I hope she did the same for Sam and the Doc.

"Aiyanna!" He cries. I can hear the metal bunk creak as he hurriedly gets up and rushes the very short distance to her.

He calls her name again, gently tapping her face trying to get her to wake up.
I think that she has lost her fight with whatever this thing is that’s killing her- the same thing that is killing me.

Someone's coming. I hear the hard footfalls of people running with boots on.

Suddenly the door bursts open widely; light and colder air flood the once dim room. For the briefest moment, the cold air feels wonderful. It’s a cool comfort to my already searing hot skin.

Doc and Carter come rushing in. They're okay! My team's okay. She healed them all. I don’t have to worry about my team anymore.

Sam is checking on Aiyanna and Jonas; Doc's kneeling next to me with that look in her eye. She takes one look at me and frowns, placing her hand on my forehead.

"He's burning up." She announces. That's funny I was just feeling cold.

My eyes are getting heavier and heavier. Doc is trying to get me to stay awake. I'm just so tired. My team is safe. Even though I haven't seen Teal'c yet, I know that Junior has kept him from contracting this god awful illness. Everyone is okay- the three scientists, Sam, Doc, Jonas and Teal'c.

Wait. Every one isn't okay.

Aiyanna isn't gonna make it. I know that. She knows that.

She may not have been on my team but she’s just sacrificed herself to save everyone else when she could have saved her strength and maybe fought it off for her own sake. She saved the lives of my team members that counts for something in Jack O'Neill's book.

I'm losing the battle to stay awake. My eyes are just too heavy to keep open.

I can rest easy though. My team is safe.

And while Aiyanna isn't going to make it, I think she was on borrowed time to begin with, I know she did all that she could to help us.

"Colonel, please stay with me."

Sorry Doc I wish I could. But I'm just so hot and tired; my eyes are sliding closed.

The next thing I know I'm being moved around- the slight swaying motion that comes when you're being moved from one gurney to another in the infirmary. It's making me kind of dizzy at the moment. I want to know what's happening.

I can hear voices but it's all just a blur of sound. All garbled up and making no sense, like I'm wearing earmuffs on the firing range- only worse.

I can feel irritating tickle of oxygen going up my nose. Someone is turning my arm over tying one of those damned rubber tubes around my arm as they try to start an IV line.

I'm cold again. Last I remember I was hot. I wish my body would make up its mind. This is annoying.

I finally manage to get my eyes to open. Just a crack that's all I need.

Doc is leaning over me talking- I can't make it out. Her hand is on my forehead again; fingers soothingly brushing through my hair.

Slowly I turn my head, making sure everyone is there; ticking them off one by one as I see them- Sam, Teal'c, Jonas, Michaels, Osbourne, Woods and Aiyanna.

I can make out new people coming in the door. Dressed in black biohazard suits and carrying cases.

Doc’s saying something to me again. Her fingers haven't stopped their movements in my hair, and now her free hand is turning my head to look at her.

"Colonel." I can hear her now, barely. She's leaning down, her head almost touching mine. "We're going back to the SGC now that the containment team has arrived."

So that's who the MIB were.

"We are going to put you in an isolation chamber. Don't worry. You'll be able to see me the entire time," she tells me, before she's pulled away.

One of the guys in bio suits comes over, pushing the gurney that holds the isolation chamber. He reaches forward and removes the cannula, replacing it with the mask from the iso chamber.

Someone picks up my legs, folding the blankets underneath them, and someone else tucks them under my shoulders. My eyes drift shut for a brief second before flying open again as I feel my self being picked up and put into the iso chamber.

Doc's back again. I can see her moving towards me. I knew she wouldn't be gone for long.

"You're going to be fine, Sir. I'll see you soon." She says before closing the lid.

* * * * *

My head is pounding. How come Aiyanna hasn't healed me yet? She healed the others. Where is she at?

Someone is squeezing my hand and rubbing my arm. My eyes are almost too heavy to open, but I want to know where Aiyanna is at. I need to know.

Why hasn’t she helped me?

Slowly, with effort, I open my eyes. I'm greeted by the sight of Doc, a grim smile on her face.

"Jack."

Uh oh. She hardly ever calls me Jack.

"You're at the SGC"

"Iccccce gurl…" I choke out, unable to attempt saying her name. I need to know.

"I'm sorry, Jack. I don't think she will make it," she says softly, her voice sounding choked.

I remember now- what happened in the rec room where Jonas and I bunked.

I'm so tired right now.

I’m tired of fighting, tired of everything.

I think I will sleep.

* * * * *
Suddenly awareness is thrust upon me. Someone is speaking again, placing a hand on my chest. I wish they would speak up I'm only catching snippets of what the person is saying

"Sir… know…me. The Tok’ra offered… symbiote...needs…host. They think… cure… it may…only chance. …be temporary…only …. would come out … as …another host."

That voice sounds familiar but I can't put my thumb on it.

"Sir, are you getting any of this?"

A full sentence.
Only one person calls me ‘sir’ like that.

"Carter?" I manage to force her name out, my eyes sliding open a tiny bit.

I need to see her.

"Yeah, I'm right here," she answers, turning back around to face me. She's in one of those red bio suits. Guess I must still be contagious.

“Over my dead body.”

Even though I didn’t catch everything she said, I know what she was offering. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. Of course they’ve contacted the Tok’ra. Apparently the nifty little hand device must not have worked. And the Tok’ra are always looking for new hosts.

“Sir, the symbiote’s host died while they were on a mission. The Tok’ra have strong reason to believe that they symbiote has vital information to reveal and this would give them that chance.”

An appeal to my sense of duty? I’m not sure if that’s enough- not for this. Sure it would help both sides but I don’t know if I can do this- something I’ve grown to hate and despise. But I don’t want to die either.

“Now they promised,” Carter continues, “that if no other host was found within a reasonable amount of time the symbiote would sacrifice its self rather than stay in an unwilling host.”

Carter sounds sincere about the Tok’ra promise that the symbiote will sacrifice its self if another host isn’t found.

“Sir, please,” she says, pleading.

I can’t leave her.

I can’t leave any of them- Sam, Teal’c, Janet, Cassie- not so soon after losing Daniel. And Jonas… could he bear the guilt he’d feel if another member of SG-1 is lost while he still lives?

I’m trusting you, Carter. Please, don’t let me down.

I’m not doing this for me or for the Tok’ra.

I’m doing this for my team. My family.

I nod my head, unable to summon the energy to speak, and close my eyes